THE ALGORE VIRUS:
Causes your computer to just keep counting and counting.
THE CLINTON VIRUS:
Gives you a 7-Inch Hard Drive with NO memory.
THE BOB DOLE VIRUS (as the VIAGRA VIRUS):
Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.
THE LEWINSKY VIRUS:
Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then emails everyone about what it did.
THE JESSE JACKSON TROJAN:
Generates a new file while claiming to clean the Clinton Virus, then hides for 18 months.
THE RONALD REAGAN VIRUS:
Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.
THE MIKE TYSON VIRUS:
Quits after two bytes.
THE OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS:
Your 300mb hard drive shrinks to 100mb, then slowly expands to restabilize around 200mb.
THE JACK KEVORKIAN VIRUS:
Deletes all old files.
THE ELLEN DEGENERES VIRUS:
Rejects the insertion of any disks.
THE PROZAC VIRUS:
Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care.
THE JOEY BUTTAFUOCO VIRUS:
Only attacks minor files.
THE ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS:
Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back.
and ...
THE LORENA BOBBITT VIRUS:
Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy, then discards it through Windows.
